Ever have a week when you feel inadequate for the needs inside and around you? A week when circumstances and emotions and energy levels all collide?
This was my week this past week. It wasn't, by any stretch, the worst week ever. It wasn't filled with high drama or huge happenings. In fact, there were many blessings and joys throughout the week. Yet there were many small things using up my emotional and physical strength.
I actually think this is the way life is designed to be. We take in food, we spend the calories and nutrition as we see fit, and then we need to take in food again. Likewise, we sleep, wake, and sleep again. We are designed to take in that we may be poured out. We are designed to be dependent and interdependent. Sometimes, at least for me, it's easy to forget these basics - or to resist them. I admit at times I would prefer not to get tired or hungry or worn out.
But when I consider it further, I'm glad for my limitations and the rhythm of being. How very good it was to work alongside my husband raking leaves this week - and then climb into bed together to sleep and refresh. How very good and "centering" it was yesterday to go for a solitary and silent half hour walk through the woods. Just as the body needs more calories to support increased activity, so the soul needs more quiet and restoration when challenges come. I learned this several years ago and it has helped me be kinder to myself and in turn, to others. During busier seasons I have taken time away from other priorities like relationships, sleep, or household work in order to fit the time in. Like stopping to eat a meal, it multiplies my strength. Time to be alone to refresh - or for me, time to pour out my heart to God and then be filled - is always worth the interruption. .
Of course, sometimes part of the challenge is in not seeming to have time to make time. Holidays and family events can be like this because there is much to be both prepared and enjoyed in a short period of time. It is in the more hurried or harder days that I find it urgent to guard and intentionally fill my thoughts. Otherwise it's easy to get stuck in the mire. This week I made several poor communication choices - poor timing, thoughtless and insensitive comments, and lack of follow through to name a few. Growing in realization and humility is valuable to me, so it isn't all bad news. And, to be fair, I made several good communication choices this week as well - the main one being remembering to ask my God for mercy for my sins and grace to make amends and move forward. The thing is, I'm getting a lot of practice to improve my communication skills. I trust I will become a better communicator in the long run - and will be glad I failed forward without getting stuck in discouragement and self-criticism.
One of our pastors today said that in Christ we are "free to fail." Oh, that is what I need!! When I'm free to fail, I can let go and focus on whatever is at hand. And this is where the battle takes place. This is where choosing to be intentional in my thoughts (and words!) is key. Rather than go down rabbit holes of all that has gone poorly, and all the negative contributing factors, I find it necessary and highly beneficial to redirect my thoughts. Perhaps I will come back to revisit all those details later - maybe there is something worth re-evaluating and even communicating about, but in the midst of things it's best if I can be peace-full (filled with peace!)
I have found several ways for me to redirect my thoughts. I have also found that my God is very willing to help me, often sending me redirection even as I'm realizing my need for it. I receive just the right text. A great song comes on the radio. The Bible app has just the right verse. And so on. I recall when my husband and I were first married: Every time I got so mad I went for a walk, a different stray cat would show up waiting to be petted wherever I ended up. (Note: Our first year of marriage was actually very wonderful, but around 8 months the reality of living together set in and the "sharpening" took an upward curve for a while.) And during nursing school it was deer which stopped the circling thoughts of stress and test anxiety.
Aside from those blessed redirections, I have gained similar tools in my toolbelt. I can choose to put on an uplifting song. I can repeat the Lord's Prayer; particularly easy and helpful when I am rushing to get things done/ready and need to stop fretting or complaining! In slower times I enjoy a sitcom or Youtube comedy. I repeat positive statements (preferably out loud) to myself from affirmations to God's promises. (Examples: "I am strong and courageous; my arms are strong for my tasks." "I am loved." "I am learning and growing." And my very favorites:
-"God is before all things and he is holding me and mine together." (Based on Colossians 1:3)
-"All things are working together for my good and the good of my loved ones for God's good purposes in our lives." (Based on Romans 8:28)
Even Jesus fought temptation with the Word of God; it has upheld me in my darkest times.
Finally, the most powerful weapon I know of against stress and discouragement is this: Love. It begins with being kind to one's self - giving grace and thinking kind thoughts towards self ... then finding a way to share love. GIve something away, be it money or a gift or a possession someone would appreciate. Or give time, lending a hand to a neighbor or loved one, or just spending time listening. Darkness is pierced - overcome - by Light.
May we each increasingly shine...
Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Yorumlar