When our children were younger, we put up optical illusions on our kitchen wall. (Like the picture of the vase and/or two faces.) This was meant to remind them to seek to understand how others may have different perspectives and views of the same situation, issue, or event. A few years ago there was a movie, Maleficent, which told the story of Sleeping Beauty from the perspective of the "evil" fairy. I enjoyed it more than I anticipated. I recall admiring the character development explaining more of who, and why, she was the way she was, as well as demonstrating her softer, kinder side. I hope I remember each person I meet has a past, and a softer side, somewhere inside. I hope when I disagree with someone, I will consider their unique perspective and take time to truly listen to understand - probably while hoping they will do the same. We may never agree if the picture is a vase or two faces, but at least we can demonstrate respect and even realize there are reasons for the other's perspective worthy of consideration.
That being said, I have a "perspective mantra" I have written in the cover of many journals for decades now. I have grown in applying it; I continue to have opportunities to practice and improve. It's not for everyone; some may find it unrealistic or ignorant. I respect that. Yet it is extremely valuable to me and I regret every time I fail to apply it. Such as yesterday when I forgot all about it...
Earlier in the morning I had noticed our 14 year-old black cat, Bagheera, was not doing so well. His tail was between his back legs and he was noticeably thinner after having another caregiver over the weekend while we were out of town. I noted his condition, deciding to check on him later in the day to offer him extra food. A bit later I was in the midst of reading when a woman knocked on my door. She was interested in a used car we have for sale. As the woman and I were discussing the price of the car, another woman stopped to say a black cat had been fatally hit by a car next to our driveway. It took me less than 60 seconds to piece my worries together and burst into tears. Very loud tears. (I love my animals nearly like children.) It was probably less than another 60 seconds when both women began attempting to console me and told me to come see if it was actually my cat.
IT WAS NOT.
I was, naturally, very thankful and relieved. I was able to calm down enough to get gloves and a mat for the other cat to be moved off of the curb. I was able to thank both women for their kindness towards me. I told the first woman she could call me later for more information on the car. Then I went inside and discovered I was shaky and still near tears from the assumed loss of my cat. I'm sure some of them were tears for the other cat - such a pretty girl and most likely a sad loss to someone else... But the shakiness was definitely residual upheaval from my negative assumption.
Here is my "perspectives mantra" I forgot to remember in those moments: THINK the BEST...
BELIEVE the BEST...
ACT upon IT.
I have thought the worst - or at least badly - of people I love more times than I care to recall. Likewise, I have had long talks with myself and prayers to my God, to let go of less than ideal situations which had the potential to have extremely negative and concerning outcomes. And the lesson I continue to learn is that negative assumptions and concerns (i.e., worries!) don't help me respond with strength. I want to be the calm voice of assurance and encouragement in an emergency or urgent matter. This requires deliberate thinking on my part. I truly believe things work together for good purposes. It is this hope - this belief that true love is wrapping arms around me and others in the darkest times - that enables me to function and move forward when a problem requires efforts towards a solution. I am motivated most and best by hope. (Note: I'm also learning when someone else is upset about a problem, empathizing is often the first and most important interaction - listening, rather than "fixing." Given my own disposition as someone who loves being assured and encouraged, as well as a tendency towards wanting to comfort and help, this can be tough for me implement.)
I purpose to live intentionally, in all realms of life - physical, spiritual, and emotional. I purpose to seek balance and peace within each area, being careful about what gets through my "balance and peace" filters. This may not be what works for others, but it's what works for me. My intent in sharing is simply to provide food for thought as I present one perspective. ;)
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Matt. 7:12 "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them..."
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