About 10 days ago our gray, female cat, Kit was very ill. She had been to the vet but continued to get worse. I found myself thinking she was not going to live. She is 15 years old and has had a good life; of course she is not going to live forever. She kept hiding away in various spots in the basement. I've heard animals often prefer to be somewhere quiet, by themselves when they die, so this made it seem all the more likely. At one point I said my goodbyes to her before coming back upstairs The next twelve hours were the same. That night she went outside through the cat door. In the morning I called and searched several times to no avail.
Finally it occurred to me to pray. (It is often my nature to try to do things on my own.) I asked God to please help me find her. It was at this point I recalled how our dog had been sniffing around the outdoor cement stairs earlier that morning. There is just enough room between the house and the stairs for a small animal to get through. I held my iphone camera down the space to get photos and video to confirm she was there - alive. I put moist food down as close to her as I could reach. I could hear her eating and purring. But when she was done and I called her, she didn't come out. I went inside. After a while I checked again; she was still there. Again I went back inside. Prior to her going outside, she had only been moving very short distances; I began to wonder how in the world we would be able to get her out from under those cement steps. Again, it occurred to me to pray. When I went outside a few minutes later, she had come out into the flowerbed where I could pick her up.
Since that time she has been diagnosed and treated for a staph infection. She is slowly improving in movement and weight gain. She is not going to live forever. But it seems to me God regularly sends me life lessons (i.e., practice) to remind me to think the best and to remind me to pray. Sometimes I can do so well at both - yay!... But sometimes I don't do very well at all. Which hurts my pride - so I get a lesson in humility too. (This a bit humorous to me... God just doesn't let anything go to waste!) But the best lesson of all is the increasing understanding I have, through each new or repeated lesson, that God loves me - I mean, really truly, very deeply and thoroughly loves me. He loves me all the same, all the time. (Though, like any loving parent, he does keep sending me lessons to grow and mature me.) His love is constant and present and available all the time. And in that love he says to ask and keep on asking. He says he will help - even if it's to help with waiting for his answer...
Several periods of waiting - and God's help, and answers, come to mind. Recently while I was waiting to hear if I got the Wellness Coordinator position, I began using my prayer walks to talk with God both about the position and about my impatience. God often speaks to me on my walks. Sometimes I receive a "peace that passes understanding," meaning that nothing has changed circumstantially and yet somehow inside of myself I am changed and at peace. Other times I'm blessed with distractions (happy comforts to me) in the form of various wildlife - deer, hawks, etc. Other times something from God's Word will come to my mind and speak counsel to my heart. In the Bible God speaks to individuals (Abraham, Hagar, Moses, Paul, Ananias, etc.) in individualized ways. Ways that person can relate to and understand. God wants to talk with his children.
Yet truth be told, those couple of weeks of waiting to hear about the new Wellness Coordinator position, I didn't "feel" or "hear" anything. So the final week before I got the offer, I talked to God about that too. (One thing I have going for me with God - once prompted to pray, I am not shy to put it all out there and be very real. Which is the only way to go with God anyway: 1. Because he sees my thoughts and heart anyway 2. He wants honesty, not hypocrisy or pretty words 3. He specifically says to call and cry out to him and then he will answer.) So I told God I knew he heard me and trusted he would bring both inner and outer change at the very best time - and I would do my best - with his help, please - to wait well with patience and good expectations. Because he has never let me down... He has only had me wait.
(Sidebar again on the joys of middle-age: Seeing how the waiting from the past has been truly good and has indeed been a part of God working all things together for His good purposes in my/our lives. Also note: Still plenty of areas of waiting to this day; God is not in a hurry... or on my time schedule, good thing!)
At the end of that particular week a dear friend from high school, Chris, whom I haven't talked with for a number of years, contacted my best girlfriend, Laura, to ask her how I was doing. He wanted to pass along a dream he had had that night. In the dream I was on a sidewalk and he sensed I needed a hug, so he came over without a word and gave me a hug. Then he woke up, feeling he should check in with me. He texted me a short while later: "continue to know you are loved no matter what type of day you had or are having." To me, this dream and message of being loved speaks of the creative and extravagant love of God. And it occurs to me God can work in new ways, just as I hope and believe he will work in new ways through me in my new position. I believe God wanted to remind me, as he did with Hagar, that he saw me and was with me every step of every walk I took earlier that week. I feel God was sending a very special hug and reminder of his love through my kind friends, Chris and Laura. How touching and encouraging when God answers prayer!
There are places in God's Word connecting praying and watching. I often go back to past journal entries and add a heading and note of "What Happened Next." These notes are my rocks of remembrance. Written "stones" of encouragement and testimony of God's faithfulness to answer, be it immediate or years later, or somewhere in between. Prayer is meant to be a two-way communication. I find it so valuable to keep my eyes and ears open both as and after I talk/call on God/cry out to him. Jesus said his father is always at work. I rejoice when I get to experience his workings being manifested. I rejoice in a God who is so far beyond me in every conceivable way (love, righteousness, wisdom, power, etc.), yet loves me so tenderly he chooses to relate to and with me... Really, what can I even say about such a thing??
God offers so many things, if we are willing to receive. I find I receive best when I empty my heart of worries, needs, and even my own agenda, by placing them into his loving and capable hands as I cry out to him. Often I then receive much more than I ask or imagine...
In the past I (we) waited on God to supply a solution for our flat and leaky garage roof. Flat roofs are not easy to properly fix. We even went out on the roof to pray about it. At times (mainly when it rained... and leaked!) it was quite discouraging to me. To this day all I can figure is God was building our patience while also preparing to wow us: Because when the year came that a solution became evident, we also received (basically without additional cost) a new roof for our house!! There had been a hailstorm earlier in the spring, but we hadn't given it much thought. Our home's roof, like the garage, was older and was already in need of replacing. But it was not so bad at the time to be on the "prayer radar" of priority repairs. Still, a roof salesman showed up at our home, persistently telling me I should at least let him climb up and take a look at the roof. And then persistently telling me I should at least let him file the insurance claim. Thank God for the salesman's persistence, because we got the new roof! Talk about a full circle lesson in persistence!
It is mind blowing to me how God continually weaves topical life lessons through what seem to be the most unlikely situations and people. When I homeschooled our children I was frequently inspired and amazed at God's leading as I compiled ideas for our unit studies. Now I see God is the author of every unit study and I am one of the students under his individualized discipleship. Amazing.
I am so very often amazed... But back to the lesson of persistent prayer...
God says to ask persistently. Maybe this is part of growing to be more like him, for wonderfully, His love is the most persistent thing I know.
Matthew 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Luke 18:! Then Jesus told them a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.
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